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There is nothing like a long yap session with a good friend that can turn a good day. It has been shown that the same positive interaction with a friend in one day can promote our mental fitness. On the other hand, a strange or traumatic conversation can put us pressure in the coming days. So how do we make sure that our conversation is going well? There is no magical tablet, but there are some mistakes that we can avoid having to connect with others.
As an autistic person, I look for some disobedience to the social principles of feeling and prefer organic conversation with others who naturally go in their own direction. Unfortunately, my life is still full of another kind of conversation,! It is important for all of us to understand what a good conversation does, whether it comes to us naturally or not.
The effect of conversation mistakes
Before we find these specific mistakes, let us know that this article also makes a difference. As you are suspected, our conversation affects our relationship, and it depends on how they go. “Conversation errors often create a sense of disconnection and can cause problems in relations,” says Dr. Meghan Markam, chief psychologist at AMFM Healthcare Care.
It goes for all kinds of relationships, as most of our interactions are focused around our communication capabilities. “Whether these mistakes are found in the context of personal or business debate, when these errors are frequent, negative consequences are more,” Marcum noted.
Over time, these mistakes can help people feel misunderstood, and can eventually completely avoid the conversation.
The mistakes we make when talking to others mark the healthy, stable relationships and the differences between people who cannot survive for a long time. They can even end our relationship. “Over time, these mistakes can help people feel misunderstood, and others can eventually avoid conversation,” Marcum explained.
Common errors in conversation
Here are the most common mistakes that we can do with our communication style.
“Bumrasking”
Have you ever asked a question to just have the opportunity to answer? This wrong pass is not just abusive. Boomrasking can make us in manipulation because we are just presenting a topic to talk to someone else before talking to us. According to Marcum, “” boomsking “can feel the other person as if they were not being taken seriously. “
Intervene
It can be difficult to keep quiet when you have something to say. There are some relationships in which both parties obstruct which, when this happens, does not mind, but this is more exceptional than usual.
Generally, starting talking before someone else’s end is considered unpleasant and dishonest. Marcum notes, “interfering with someone can often play an important role in the impression of a decrease in value or minor.”
Talking too much about yourself
We have all heard these stories – or they have experienced about bad dates themselves where the other party will not stop about their lives. It is boring and the other person can feel that it doesn’t matter. It is a good conversation to maintain balance between sharing.
We want to be open and tell someone what is happening to us, but we do not want to let them shade them. This can surprise the person if they need to be there too! It is important to remember that debates develop on the back and ahead of the dynamic. No one wants to see a person hitting a tennis ball all night against the wall.
Excessive advice
When a friend or a loved one we have to face a problem, it is natural that they want to help them fix it – but they just want to cope with it. A common and harmful move in the conflict is that when describes a problem, describes a problem rather than listening to and recognizing the other person’s experience, “the author of conflict involvement, and” the author of the authors of the conflict, “says the author of the conflict,” the author of the controversy. “
The effect of this advice is often that both the victim of this problem feels that they are not really being heard and they are unable to find solutions themselves.
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Dana Caspperson, a controversial engagement specialist
We are trying to help, but with an unauthorized advice, someone else can be forced to think that we help them. “The effects of this advice are often the effects that both the victims of this problem feel that they are not really being heard and they are unable to find solutions themselves,” Casperson said.
Closed closing questions are asking
Asking questions is very important for a good conversation, but we want to make sure they pave the way instead of making questions stop signs. Instead of inviting your conversation partner to continue chat, closed closing questions do not answer yes or answer.
This “do you like your drink?” There is a difference between? And “What do you like about your drinks?” It can indicate a question that he should answer a literal answer to the invitation for a paragraph or two.
Follow -ups are not asking questions
Follow -up questions show that we are listening, we are busy, and we care about the person we are talking about. If we ask a question, they answer, and we introduce a new article, the other person can feel that we are just having a while and is not interested in their words.
When we hear a person’s response to our question, he naturally wants us to know something else about the at least one factor of their words. Then this point may be a follow -up question that shows that we are actively listening, even if we just say, “I would love to hear more about it.”
Inquest
We have discussed that the conversation should be behind and then, so there is something to avoid a non -stop questioning. Even if we use a good and soft tone, we can feel our partner and defensive. You don’t want to raise a voice like a lawyer and feel that they are in the position of a witness.
After each question and answer, take a moment to stop and see if the other person has to ask something to ask anything instead of jumping directly to the next question.
Using a rejection language
In many areas of life, everything is respected, and the conversation is not exempt. “The biggest mistake that anyone can make is a lack of respect for the other person at the time of the conversation,” says Marcum, who tells us that using the emitting language is a mistake.
She says, “It can eliminate dialogue very fast and create a hindrance between two people.” Rejecting behavior can be a direct response to something that someone is telling us, such as claiming that he is abused, or may lack verification, such as “anything”, when someone expresses displeasure with us.
Strategies to avoid conversation mistakes
Thankfully, we can find these mistakes in the past to start a better and more practical conversation. The biggest thing we are easier to avoid from all the above and all the above mentioned is: listening openly and treating respectfully. According to Castperson, we should “listen to curiosity and recognize that person.”
“Help them to open your thoughts instead of imposing them,” says Casperson. Active listening is considered a basic key to better communication.
Giving a brief summary of what the other person has said can help you correct any possible mistakes and prevent misunderstandings.
To avoid misunderstandings and ensure engagement, you can summarize your partner. Marcim suggests that “a brief summary of what the other person said can help you to correct any possible mistakes and prevent misunderstandings … by allowing each other to clarify this person and improve accuracy,” Markum has suggested.
Finally, we want to enable things as much as possible. Avoid conflicts by using a verification language and working from a place of curiosity. “Ask follow -up questions and if you don’t use a neutral language rather than disagreement,” Marcum says, “Saying something,” It’s not what I understood the situation but I am interested in hearing more about your point of view. ” ‘
Promoting a healthy and balanced conversation
We can avoid these mistakes by being more present in our conversation. When we want to know more about respect and really about someone else’s experience, it is easy to talk to them or avoid speaking non -stop. Castperson explained, “Listen with the true intentions of understanding, express yourself without attack or defense, and before you understand the strategies before you understand what the two sides of the conversation make.”
If you make one of these mistakes, it’s not too late: you can still bend things. For example, Casperson says that if we offer ourselves an unprecedented advice, instead of saying, “Well, what you should do….” Instead you can say, “So, it looks like (it’s) happening, what’s the hardest thing for you? What are you trying to know right now?”
Down line
Communication errors such as questioning other parties or just asking close questions can devastate the relationship, but we can avoid them, actively listening, staying busy, and getting more information before jumping on results or assumptions.
Resource
If you want to follow your conversation skills, there are worksheets you can use or videos you can see from communications experts. Whatever method you choose, better conversation can be on the horizon for you.