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In my 20s, I had many friends with whom I used to roam. Some were childhood friends, some were college friends, and some were friends I met. As I am in the age of 30 and 40, some of these friendships are naturally spread due to people’s movement, marrying, having children, changing their careers, or sharing entertainment ideas and ideas.
However, many of my long -term friendships have flourished despite my friends and I have flourished despite different routes (though it is tried). And during my almost two decades to be a parent, I have established a new friendship along the way, some were dissolved and some were strong.
According to research, the evolution of my friendship is common. One study has found that after 25 years of age, people start losing friends until the age of 45. Nearly from 45 to 55, the number of our friends is stable.
Friendship expert Daniel Bard Jackson says, “Some friendships will remain and nothing will do, and this is not proof of you and your value or love. This is not a proof of some friendship, and that is why they were not the last. It is just the flow and flow of life.” “Sometimes new people come into our lives and they are a fit where we are in our season.”
How does friendship develop over decades
During the years of school age, people experience similar stages of life and are connected through common activities. When you enter your 20s, closeness to friendship becomes more clear.
“That’s why people report to friends who are older than them,” says Kelly Kitley, a licensed clinical social activist, Kelly Kitley, Kelly Kitley says. When people move to big cities, they can be more open to make new friends than those who live in most parts of their lives.
“This is less and more about the rehabilitation of a new friendship and the restoration of friendship,” says Bord Jackson.
Friends who are not experiencing similar events in life may begin to flow. “And it’s okay,” says Kitley. “There is no need to have angry emotions. We can accept this change as a normal human evolution and thank you for friendship.”
When you enter your 40s, people get more deliberately with the friendship they value and pour energy in the upbringing of children and balancing the work while taking care of the elderly parents.
“We too fall into old memories and can reach someone in our past,” says Kitley.
After your 50, 60’s and after retirement, you will be friends with your neighbor’s people or parents of your children’s friends, yet they begin to move or retire.
“Meeting people in the middle life cannot be as fluid as it was once by school or work,” Kitley says. Finding people in our community who enjoy similar activities through walking groups, books, voluntary services, helping people feel less lonely. ”
5 ways of maintaining friendship despite the demands of life
If you feel that friendship is slowly slipping or you have a difficult time to maintain your friendship, consider the following points.
Determine your basic people
If you are extended for time, think about who your top people are and pay attention to them. Bord Jackson says his clients who are extravasics often share that they feel guilty that they cannot connect with everyone and get tired because they extend more.
She says, “Talking about friendship in such a technical and strategic way may seem unreasonable, but if you need to explain and ease your way of connecting friendship in your life, it is important.”
Declare your intentions
Like a romantic relationship, Bord Jackson says it should be said deliberately to stay connected with friends. For example, tell them that it is not enough to talk to every other month or you want to try to see each other more often. “This automatically increases the purchase from other people and reduces confusion.”
Although this approach may be very demanded or unnecessary, she says, your friend can share the same emotions. “Some people … are trying not to appear like high care
Friends, they do not announce a longer wish.
Try to understand
Even if you are in different life of life than those you want to keep on, try to be related to
The pressure in their lives can be like their children or parents care.
“You are still looking for your friends to understand, even if they don’t understand the details of your challenges and desires,” says Jackson. “I don’t understand the details’ or ‘I can no longer have a relationship’, instead of being stuck, can take a little bit of understanding, verification and care.”
Although friendship is simply easy to leave because the friend’s life is different from you or
Changed, she says to think about situations that have changed and how you can prevent them from interfering in your friendship. “When we find our friend ‘second’, it is difficult to reconcile with him if we are ‘very different,” says Bord Jackson.
Think about how you can visit the situation. For example, if your friend is a new mother, ask yourself, “How do I give us some grace because we don’t have the experience of being a friend when he is
Responsible for a child?
Make creative with how you roam together
The way you do socializing with your 30, 40s and beyond friends may be different as you used to use time obstacles, responsibilities and interests in the 20s.
If there are no options for repeated hours, add a monthly brunch or dinner. You can also knock two things together with a friend. For example, walk together, join a Picken Ball League simultaneously, or volunteering at the same place.
“(Invite) a friend to go with you when she fills you up in her history last night,” says Bord Jackson. “Life together. Back to Hangouts in your life so that your friendship does not diminish
Quarterly self -reports. “
You can even schedule a weekly or monthly phone call or fee time. “You can do anything that can permanently try to relieve the mental labor to try to detect days and times that keeps the work maintained
Friendship is easy, “Bord Jackson noted.
Daniel Bard Jackson, Friendship Educator
Live together. Back to hangouts in your life so that your friendship does not shorten itself.
– Daniel Bard Jackson, Friendship Educator
When everyone fails, make your friend a point to send a text between the transfer from work to the house, while waiting for a meeting or in line on the grocery store. Katley writes something
As easy, “Hi, thinking about you. Hope your day is going well” Your friend will tell you that you want to be connected.
Hug a healthy conflict
Although many people believe that there is no need to have any arguments for friendship, Bord Jackson says healthy conflict is a way to strengthen friendship.
“I’m definitely not encouraging anyone to enter it to enter it, but we know from this research that people are closer to each other after being involved in a healthy conflict.”
This means that if there are stress, disagreement or uncertain emotions among friends, it can make friends feel closer. She says, “Whatever you are putting in it, you bring you in distress, the unseen, frustrated, dismissed, whatever it is.”
If doing so eliminates friendship, then it would not have been stronger to start. If you want a long -lasting friendship, it must be a place where you can share your needs, desires,
Goals, etc., “says Jackson.
Keep in mind
Just as the stages of life are ready, so do friendships. With a little effort and flexibility, you can maintain and strengthen friendship.
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