If you want to be successful at anything, whether it’s parenting more relaxedly, quitting smoking, or running a marathon, setting an intention — and then mentally focusing on it — will give you the focus to help turn your dream into a reality. Our culture uses terms often Purpose And intention Interchangeable but they are not actually the same. In reality, intentions are things that must be set in motion, and that’s why it’s important that when you’re setting intentions, you’re connected to your deepest, truest self.
Intentions help you stay focused on your goal when strong emotions, exhaustion, boredom, or distraction threaten to push you off course. Intentions connect deeply with your true heart’s desire, what really matters to you, and use that rudder to steer your course.
Intention is not desire or fantasy. It is not a declaration of how you are or how you think you should be. It comes from really listening to what is most important to you and being yourself, yourself, yourself.
Not intended: I want to lose 25 pounds and fit into my old jeans.
intention: I am deeply listening to my body’s desire to be healthy and active, and my heart’s desire to feel active and whole.
We offer ourselves the greatest ability to reduce our suffering.
This is where mindset plays an essential role. When we take the time to tune into ourselves to learn our inner landscape, it’s easy to misunderstand our truth as fantasy. It’s like when you investigate a sudden urge. Does your body need chips? Well this minute To work, or are you looking for a distraction (a crunchy, salty, flavor bomb) while you nervously await word from your publisher about your manuscript?
Maybe what you really want is to have fulfilling, creative, intellectually stimulating work, a home you love, where friends and family come to visit and where you have a garden space, or to learn to manage your stress better, and feel more grounded and happy.
From this place of deep knowing, you can develop a plan to achieve your identity. And when you get off track—you’re drawn to a mind-blowing job because you’re afraid no one else will hire you. You consider spending all your savings on a trip to Paris. Or find yourself stress-eating (again) at 9 p.m.—you have something real and true to anchor you.
Say yes to commitment
Change is not easy. But that’s often what’s needed. Knowing what really matters to us, and setting an intention that helps create the conditions for that desire to flourish, also makes it easier to commit to changing behaviors or habits that hold us back from our goal.
After mentally reflecting on my experience with my stepdaughter, I realized that my deepest desire was to have a warm relationship with her. I resolved to be loving and warm with him, as I am with other people I care deeply about. On a recent visit, when I felt cranky and easily broken, I remembered my intention. In an instant, I saw the externals that weren’t contributing to more love or warmth but instead lessened my commitment to holding onto my intention. I embraced what I wanted again, not the random thoughts and feelings of, say, my low blood sugar or my petulance. And because that’s what matters — that’s how I want to live — that commitment felt moving, and it was easy. The rest of the day went beautifully.
Two things here speak to the power of intention: When you know what’s important to you, and you intend to honor it, your intention is an alarm that goes off when you forget what really matters. Then you can choose to chart a different path forward.
Not called resolutions
You want to lose weight, get your real estate license, or become a better listener — but if you don’t know Why? You want it, you’ll quickly get discouraged and fall back into your old habits. However, pain and resistance are no longer insurmountable obstacles when we know what we really want and strive for it again and again.
I have never been able to diet. But I managed to control my diabetes by changing my eating habits and determined to live. I tell people, “I’m not on a diet. I just don’t want to die.” Once I focused on my intention to live, eating healthily was a breeze.
Intention, quite simply, can help align your life with the way you live your life, in ways big and small. Without it, life can feel like a pinball machine, with you miserable, confused, never satisfied with what you have because you don’t know what you really want. In this way, the intention to make wishes come true is reduced. It’s really about honoring who you are.
