Self-Compassion for Nervous System Reset

If you find yourself stuck in a cycle of stress, try this gentle exercise to stop, calm and reset your nervous system.

It doesn’t always come naturally to us, but self-compassion is one of the most powerful forms of healing and restoration for our mental and physical well-being.

In this meditation, mindfulness teacher Shamash Aledina offers three ways to show compassion to yourself when you’re stressed and need to reset.

Shamash Alidina has been practicing mindfulness since 1998 and runs her own successful training organization. He is the author of Mindfulness for Dummies and recently, Mindfulness through stress. They often pop up in newspapers, magazines and radio shows. Based in London, he runs online training and speaks at conferences around the world. He has been teaching mindfulness full-time since 2010.

Self-compassion to reset the nervous system

Pausing after each paragraph, read and follow the guided meditation script below. Or listen to the practice audio.

1. Let’s take those 12 minutes to reset the nervous system—to get out of doing mode and into being mode. Start by finding a posture that feels like a hug for your body, whether you’re sitting or lying down. See if you can be a percent or two more comfortable. This might mean having a cushion behind your back or just moving your jaw part way.
2. Now let’s take a deep slow breath in. And as you exhale, imagine you’re ticking off the days of the to-do list. Just let it fall to the floor for now. It will still happen later, if you really want it, but for now, you’re off duty.
3. What is the condition of your nervous system? Is it buzzing? Is it tight? See if you can greet this with a little curiosity rather than judgment. instead of saying, I shouldn’t feel stressed.try saying Oh, that’s interesting. The stress is getting to me right now. That’s right. Time will pass..
4. Now let’s bring some kindness to the physical body. Our nervous systems are often on high alert because they are trying to protect us. Let’s send a signal that it’s safe to rest.
5. Begin by bringing awareness to your lower abdomen. Invite him to soften. So as you breathe in, it slowly expands. And as you exhale, it slowly contracts. If it feels right to you, put your hand on your heart. Or if you prefer, hold one hand in the other. Feel the heat and light pressure. It’s not just a cue, it actually releases oxytocin. The body’s natural calming chemical.
6. As you gently bring awareness to your breath, there is no need to breathe “at all”.“Just feel the breath moving in and out like an ocean wave. Each breath is a gift of energy. And each breath is an opportunity to exhale.
7. You can breathe and say, I know I’m breathing.. breathing, I smile gently at my nervous system.. When we are overwhelmed, we become isolated.
8. Let’s practice the three steps of self-compassion together.. Step 1: Mindfulness Acknowledge any struggles you’re going through right now. Say to yourself silently, It’s a time of trouble or it’s really hard right now.. You’re not trying to minimize it. You are validating your experience.
9. Step 2: Common humanity. Remind yourself that you are not alone. Thousands of people will feel exactly the same way right now. This buzzing sensation or feeling of heaviness is part of being human. You are part of the big, dirty, beautiful club. Club of Humanity.
10. Now Step 3: Self-compassion. Ask yourself the magic question. How can I be kind to myself right now? Maybe you need to hear the words, It’s going to be fine.. You are doing your best. Say these words to yourself, with the same warmth you would say to a dear friend. Or maybe for a small dog that is struggling.
11. Now sit in that silence for a while. If your mind thinks, which it will, because that’s what the mind does, just gently, cheerfully invite it back. Visualize the golden light of kindness radiating from your heart, filling your chest, your limbs. And there is space around you, creating a buffer zone of peace. The nervous system is slowly recovering. Shifting from fight or flight to rest and digestion and recovery. You don’t have to earn this comfort. You deserve it because you exist.
12. When you’re ready, as we slowly come to the end of this short journey, gently wiggle your fingers and toes. Try to carry this kind muscle with you for the rest of your day. When things get tough later, remember you can always come back to that soft belly or soft hand on your heart. Thank you for taking the time. Stopping and breathing is a fundamental act of kindness. When you are ready, slowly open your eyes. Do a good job. And maybe give yourself a little smile.