Summary:
- “Fake News” is now a common phrase, but we can often understand gossip as fake news at a personal level.
- If you want to challenge your habit of gossip, it is helpful in creating awareness how you speak and how you hear.
- In this 10 -minute audio meditation, you will practice a moment of thought to chat towards the state of appreciation and thanksgiving.
We live in a political moment where we just do not agree with policy issues.We do not agree with the truth. To some extent, it has always been.
Writing in 1922, American philosopher Walter Leapman described the modern humanitarian condition as living in a “cunning environment”-which describes our values, beliefs and opinions. As a result, he observed that citizens “live in the same world, but they think and feel in different things.”
After more than 100 years, we are experiencing polarization like never before. 24 -hour cable news, Facebook, blogs, Twitter, and media fractures have made it so that we can filter our news, entertainment and social interaction to strengthen our current beliefs and protect ourselves from opposition ideas.
This catch has come to explain “fake news” at the modern moment. Anything that does not fit with our reality is now seen as unrealistic, makeup, and at the same time, some of the news in our feeds are actually created. These are crazy days.
There is a serious conversation about the reorganization of the media and political institutions to reduce this issue.
Gossip is rarely based on fact, it is more expression of the stories we make in our heads about other people.
In the meantime, we wanted to find a different scenario of “fake news”. Certainly, many people there consciously spread “fake news”. But it is also interesting to see how we are doing it every day without really recognizing.
Well, we’re talking about gossip. We have a normal habit to talk about others behind their backs. Gossip is rarely based on fact, it is more expression of the stories we make in our heads about other people.
What is gossip?
The habit of gossip can be explained in any way. Webster describes it as an “intimate rumor or report”. In the book 15 promises of conscious leadershipThe authors describe the gossip: “Anyone statement about anyone else that the speaker would not be willing to distribute the same way if that person was in the same room.”
This definition points to the context of gossip. If I tell my fellow worker Jenna, “Dave’s opinion on my offer today was incredibly dishonored,” it could be a gossip. If I do not share this impression with Dave, this is a clear matter of gossip. But if I share it with Dave with the same emotional tone, this is not gossip.
Why get more aware of your gossip habit? Nevertheless, it is often entertaining to talk about celebrities, political leaders, or the mistakes of the person in your social circle, even pleasant that makes you crazy.
The first reason is that gossip habits are always created by stories in our minds, which can be true or not. So one of the reasons for avoiding gossip is to do your part to prevent the spread of “fake news”.
Another reason is that gossip often contains precise violations of integrity. In the philosophical Emmanuel Kant, when we chat about someone, we are treating them as “mere sources” for our own sense of happiness or superiority. If I tell a humiliating story about someone, I am using their misfortune to laugh, title my audience, or to feel that I am better than them.
And when it can be pleasant in the moment, it always leaves moral stains. For a speaker of gossip, there is a subtle sense of crime that arises. Listening people have a sense of distrust, which is in the context of gossip. “If he talks about others in a way when he is not in the room,” he keeps thinking, “How does he talk about me when I’m not in the room?”
Need proof? Have a quick experience. In your next conversation with a friend or partner, remove some juicy negative todbut about a mutual partner or acquaintance. Then check to see how you feel. If they respond, see how you feel about their confidence and the strength of your relationship.
2 key ways to change the gossip habit
So how can we be more aware of our gossip habit? The key is mind-making-each time we lure to chat or start gossip of others every time we show notice shift revenue skills. This awareness takes two forms: Awareness of speech and listening.
1) Aware of speech
The practice here is easy. Notice When you want to say something negative about another person-a friend, fellow worker, or even a political figure. And when you took notice, pay attention to the physical feelings of the gossip. We have found that the desire for gossip is often similar to a passionate condition. A subtle pattern of emotions in the body.
In fact, the desire for gossip, in many ways, is like a desire to read about gossip in the form of celebrity tabloids or political chain. In both cases, we are attracted to a moment of happiness that arises from speaking or listening. And yet it is a behavior that is always poor, which gives us more desire.
Seeing the desire of gossip opens this place Shift Your speech can be as easy as saying nothing or denying your statement to something you will be willing to share with another person, if they were in the room.
Shift Perhaps follow the desire to gossip but with awareness – Consciously gossip. It looks strange, but you may find that it is impossible and, sometimes, is unwanted to get rid of all gossip. For example, in conversation with your spouse or partner, say things about others that you will not share with them in the room, they can play a role in building trust and proximity to your partner. Talking about a difficult situation with another family member or with a problem at work, for example, you may need to talk about others in the ways that you would not have been in the room. In these cases, it may not be aimed at eliminating gossip, but more aware and in mind.
Is the last move Revenue. Take a taste of the experience of maximizing this common habit of gossip.
2) Aware of hearing
Even if we avoid gossip, we will undoubtedly face it in the speech of others. Whether it is neighbors, fellow workers, or family members, gossip habit is so common that it is impossible to avoid. It is customary to look at listening gossip whenever it is born in conversation with others.
Of course, this leads to an important question: What should we do when we see the person we are talking about gossip? How do we respond?
The authors of 15 promises of conscious leadership Please refer to this situation with a Ping Pong game: “The speaker and listeners keep a pedal to everyone. If anyone says that he does not want to hear and does not have his pedal, the game is over.”
This is the right advice. And yet, to find out how to understand how to keep your pedal down without embarrassing the other person. This can include injecting a positive comment, changing the article, or sometimes not to chat.
10 minutes of exercise on gossip awareness
- To start, find a comfortable seat. Sit down with a straight spine, if possible. Close your eyes and start comfortably. Feel how the chair supports your body weight. Feel your feet as they rest against floor support. Consider how you cooperate through every breath and breath. Allow yourself to breathe. Let yourself happen. Let your breath move forward without any attempt to overcome it. The target for this exercise is to create more awareness about the impact of gossip.
- Keeping this in mind, as soon as you can rest deeply, see if you can take a moment in the past. A moment when you heard something about a friend or fellow worker, another parent at school, a neighbor. Or when you removed it from someone else. I know that this is not the most glamorous thing, but when we had that juicy piece of gossip, we were all those moments. So, see if you can just travel on time for such a moment, if you are not coming out of your youth, you can go back to childhood.
- Observe any emotions or feelings when you go back to this moment with time When you offered this juicy piece of gossip. You may see a mixture of emotions. Shame on enthusiasm. The fear curiosity
- Now, imagine that we got a chance to go back on time And experience the same moment. With a slight turning point. This time, I want you to think about a thankful statement for this person. Instead of a juicy piece of gossip about them, think about what you would say. If you were forced to tell someone why you appreciate this person or why you are grateful for them.
- Now, instead of a piece of gossip, imagine a word of praise. I admire Hank’s always staying on time And for the intensity of that he brings in every conversation. I appreciate my mother -in -law, because she is passionate about bringing us all together.
- Notice again, with this statement of thankfulness, what are the emotions It is born In your body? See if you can focus on any differences between the effects of gossip and thankfulness in your experience. See if you can maintain this experience and be aware of the difference between gossip and thankfulness and the brain in your emotional state? And see if you can bring this middle of everyday life.
- See the moments when you tackle this juicy piece of gossip And you have a part that wants to tell someone and get it out. In these moments, see what happens when you go to praise or thankful
- To stop this exercise on the gossip habit, take some other breaths. Bring your attention to every breath and eliminate the feeling of breath. And then, when you feel ready, open your eyes slowly. Getting back to the room. And see what happens when you thank you. In the rest of your day.
24 -hour gossip challenge:
See to experience this first hand, see what happens when you bring more and more aware for gossip in the next 24 hours. Pay special attention to your speech and the people around you. See if you can go all day without a gossip habit.
You will know that eliminating the habit of gossip is almost impossible. But this is not really the purpose of this experience. The goal is to bring awareness to the desire for gossip – to see where you are participating in the spread of “fake news”. This simple sense of awareness can not cause you to stop gossip altogether. But this will help you bring more sympathy, care and awareness in the most common conversation.
Share your experiences in the comments below.
This article was originally published in Mindfill.com in March 2018.
