This page contains information about cards that are not currently available at NerdWallet. The information is collected by NerdWallet and has not been provided or reviewed by the card issuer.
When Beth Pinsker’s mother became too ill to manage her finances, she and her brother stepped in to pay the bills and oversee the accounts on her behalf.
As a financial journalist and certified financial planner (CFP), Pinsker felt he was well-prepared for the job. It turned out to be more complicated than he expected.
“You go through a certain age in life and you become a caregiver, and nobody prepares you for that,” Pinsker says. She adds that managing another human being’s entire financial existence is complicated and time-consuming, and many of us will probably need to at some point.
Here are five lessons from Panskar’s book.
Be mentally prepared to help elderly parents or other close relatives
“It’s 100% going to be up to you,” Pinsker says, referring to financial care. You may be a carer for a parent or you may need financial support. “Nobody can escape it. It’s a freight train coming for everybody.”
While we can’t avoid it, we can prepare for it by making room in our lives to do it when necessary.
“It’s not a job you can hire out,” Pinsker says.
Ask your parents about their finances before you need them to help you.
When you know what your parents want, you don’t have to guess when pressed for time when you’re suddenly asked for an answer at the hospital.
Check if you can access your parent’s phone and computer.
“If you don’t have access to a person’s phone, you have a problem,” Pinsker says. You will need to be able to manage their many accounts and any important digital assets after they die.
Also, you should know how to access their passwords for important accounts, she says.
Many companies, such as Apple, Google and Facebook, allow users to set up a legacy contact — an approved person who can take over a person’s accounts after they die. Helping your parents set it up can make it easier for you to have access when needed.
Take the time to process the paperwork.
Pinsker had to file her mother’s tax returns with the IRS and contact the Social Security Administration because her mother’s last check never arrived after her death. “I’d never heard of it. It’s not something that comes up until it happens to you,” she says.
After an extended online search, Pinsker completed the form and found a working address. After three months, the final check came.
Managing an ailing parent’s finances or winding up their accounts after death can be emotionally and mentally draining. It’s easy to make mistakes or second-guess decisions along the way.
“Be kind to yourself and have compassion for your loved ones,” Pinsker says. “Talking to them beforehand can go a long way toward making the process easier, but it’s still difficult.”
A silver lining? This experience can encourage you to talk to your kids about your preferences early on, so they’re more willing to help when and if you need them.
How to Enter NerdWallet’s Book Club
Essay sources
NerdWallet authors are subjective authorities who use primary, reliable sources to report their work, including peer-reviewed studies, official websites, scholarly research and interviews with industry experts. All content is fact-checked for accuracy, timeliness and relevance. You can learn more about NerdWallet’s high standards for journalism by reading our editorial guidelines.
