You’re awake, and your nightstand time of 3:33 a.m. suggests there’s no reason to wake up, but you have other thoughts. Some nights it can be overwhelming. Other times, you’re fighting the urge to flash or scroll through your phone, hoping they’ll fall asleep.
Regardless of what’s calling you in the middle of the night, you really need to hear this message: You are not alone.
approx 18% of American adults Report Trouble staying asleepand 30–50% experience insomnia symptomsincluding difficulty falling or staying asleep. And yet, our initial reaction to waking up in the middle of the night tends to be one of frustration or anger rather than curiosity.
Dr. Jessica Shepherd tells her readers to learn about the patterns and symptoms surrounding wakefulness rather than moving toward “fixing” their sleep problem.
What if we chose to investigate our emotions around awareness with self-compassion and mindfulness instead of stressing against our suffering from unwanted things? More understanding about Why? We get up at night to help.
Nervous system and sleep disorders
When did the new wake-up call at 3 a.m. become? If you’ve slept well for most of your life, only to suddenly experience a nighttime routine that involves struggling to get back to sleep, know that you’re in good company. These “awakenings” occur in all ages, genders, and life stages. some of us (Ahmed(We’re looking at you, menopausal women) as a result of hormone shifts (we’ll get into some of these issues later).
What you need to know is that waking up at night is not a personal failure. Most of the time, your nervous system responds to both internal and external signals to your body. Here are some of the reasons we wake up at night, and why your sleep may feel more fragmented:
- Hyperarousal: Stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline can trigger micro-awakening. Even while sleeping, your brain is scanning for potential threats.
- A racing or overloaded mind: Daytime to-do lists, worries, or plans can linger at night, keeping your mind alert.
- Environmental triggers: Neighborhood noise, light, temperature swings, or even screens can properly wake up the brain.
- Aging Sleep Architecture: As we age, our sleep naturally becomes lighter and more fragmented.
- Hormonal shifts: As I mentioned above, if you’re in perimenopause or menopause, changes in estrogen, testosterone, and progesterone can significantly affect your sleep cycles. They can disrupt sleep when you’re experiencing hormone imbalances. Still, these changes are only a small part of the overall picture when we consider why many people experience nighttime waking.
Why starting with curiosity helps
OB-GYN and author Generation MDr. Jessica Shepherd, tells her readers that instead of moving toward “fixing” our sleep problems, we want to be aware of the patterns and symptoms surrounding wakefulness. Here are four questions she poses to help guide reflection:
- Is this waking up due to hot flashes or night sweats?
- Am I waking up frequently or having trouble breathing?
- Is my mind racing too much to fall asleep or stay asleep?
- Do I need to use the bathroom more often at night?
Although Dr. Shepherd is a go-to resource for menopause struggles and solutions, these questions can be used to assess your symptoms, regardless of your age. Generally, mid-morning wake-up calls fall into one of four categories: mental overactivity, changes in body or room temperature, repeated environmental disturbances, or physical cues. When we understand the causes and conditions of our experience, we can respond to mindfulness.
Why are my thoughts awake at 3 am?
The main culprit behind middle-of-the-night waking can vary from person to person. No matter what time you wake up, if it’s before your alarm clock goes off, it’s likely to feel annoying.
For those of you in perimenopause or menopause, our changing hormones (feeling hot flashes/night sweats) can make us feel very stressed. As our stress levels rise, so do our cortisol levels. Normally, this stress hormone rises around 3 a.m. to prepare us to wake up, but if our stress levels are too high, it can change this baseline and cause us to wake up earlier than usual.
Mindfulness offers a different way to approach these interventions. It makes us at first reluctant to accept what is happening in the present moment, and then slowly turns to curiosity and self-compassion.
For those of you who have outgrown this hurdle of menopause or have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep in general, this time of night may feel louder than usual. When we are alone with our thoughts in the middle of the night, we can feel our fears. Lack of sleep increases amygdala reactivity, making even small problems feel more intense. Mindfulness can help activate our nervous system that guides us to practical tools that help us eliminate spring narratives.
So, how can you change your perspective when it comes to getting up that mid-morning? Mindfulness offers a different way to approach these interventions.
We’ve all heard the phrase, What you resist, persistsand you know from experience that it doesn’t work to fight sleep or try to force yourself to go back to sleep.
Mindfulness inclines us to first accept what is happening in the present moment, and then gently turn to curiosity and self-compassion. So perhaps the questions and phrases we might engage with might sound like, “How can I offer myself compassion when I make myself famous in my sleep?” Or, “What is this experience trying to show me?”
Look for clues in your daily routine
Sleep expert and author Powerful sleepShawna Robbins, encourages people who have trouble navigating the “spacious” mind by taking a look at what they’re doing during the day.
She emphasizes establishing a healthy routine (eating, exercise, self-care) that supports hormone balance and your nervous system. For Robbins, that starts with stress management, proper nutrition, and some form of physical activity. When we do this, going to sleep, and especially “falling asleep” or going back to sleep after that three o’clock wakeup call, can be very easy. “Healthy sleep starts with healthy habits during the day. What happens when you go to bed at night,” says Robbins.
Brain Sleep Strategies
What does a mindfulness strategy for cultivating good sleep look like? Think about all the tools you’ve developed during your mindfulness journey and put them to use. get started
Sleep supports the choices we make before bed.
This means journaling, sitting down regularly, eating mindfully and watching the time you’re eating. This can also include examining your physical body (think body scan meditation or breath work), combined with daily routines (yoga/gym exercise, exercises you can do throughout the day at work/desk, etc.) to help you reset your energy and re-protect your nervous system. Sleep supports the choices we make before bed.
If you find yourself up in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep, here are a few different ways you can try to help yourself.
- 30 second body scan
Shifting attention from racing thoughts to physical sensations, observing each part of the body without judgment. - Take long deep breaths (4-6 breaths).
Increased breathing calms the parasympathetic nervous system, signaling the body that it is safe to rest. - Thought note
Gently label thoughts (“I’m worried,” “I’m planning”) to create mental distance. - companionship
Keep a notepad by the bed to externalize racing thoughts and reduce cognitive load. - Soft somatic grounding
Release tension in the jaw, shoulders, or abdomen to help protect body signals.
Nighttime waking often coincides with vivid or emotionally charged dreams. Sanson Fabri, the app’s founder, anthropologist, describes dreams as “our subconscious screenplays,” where sometimes hidden narratives play out over and over again. “
Jagna is an AI-powered dream analysis and journaling app that allows users to examine dream themes and emotions or retrieve dreams with evidence-based techniques. For those who wake up at night due to intense dreams or lingering emotional stress, incorporating tools like wakefulness alongside your mindfulness practice can help shift to a more reflective place, and calm a reactive mind. With curiosity, gentle awareness, and practical tools, you can turn these moments into opportunities to connect with your body and mind.
When we approach sleep with mindfulness, we can meet moments of awakening with curiosity rather than frustration, helping to meet them in the middle of the night and ultimately have a sense of well-being.
